The Power of Manifestation

Dear Vee,

Today is March 15, 2021, and it is 9:20 pm. I am typing the date and the time because I want to remember this moment for the rest of my life. Today we both started the day on a good note, and I was happy; we were delighted. I went to work and was excited to come home to you. Before I got home, I went and checked the mail. In the mail, your mom received a letter that took a brick off her shoulders. When I opened the mail, I was over-excited about what God was doing in my life. God has been blessing me in all kinds of directions that I was starting to get overwhelmed with excitement. When I got to you and saw how you looked at me and smiled, I knew God was in the process of continuing the journey of making a bad situation into a worldwide blessing. I was so thrilled by the day that I promised myself that I would type Dear Vee tonight.

When we got home, I got us both settled in, and I fed you. I fed you while laughing and with excitement. Once you settled down, I picked up my phone and started scrolling through social media. I jumped on and off while trying to prepare my mind to write to you. As I pick up my phone, Vee, I received an email that shattered my whole night. My love, as I was reading the email, tears kept falling, and I did not know how to control it. As I am typing this, you are staring at me and trying to kiss away my tears, but baby girl, I can't make them stop.

One day I will tell you the email story, but I want you to understand that you live once and a split of a second; everything could change. Before I got pregnant with you, I used to live my life to help build me. I used to manifest different things in my life with how I spoke and the way I prayed. I used to crush my blessings before I could even let God impact me the way he needed to move me. When things started going downhill, I used to blame everything but myself for the turn of events. I would have a dream and wake up the following day speaking against it. I would have people coming around me with positive energy trying to motivate and inspire me to do beyond my capabilities. Your mom is stubborn, so soon as I hung up the phone, I spoke against it. I used to put in my mind that little old me will never conquer such a thing. When I got pregnant with you, I was in shock. I didn't know how to react or what to do, but I knew I had to change the way I thought. During my pregnancy, I raised my hand and stated that it's not in my will anymore. Every time I tried to control the way things were going to happen or the way I wanted something to play out in my life, I would hit a speed bump, not knowing or caring to slow down. Now mind you, I am hitting these speed bumps going 100 miles per hour without stopping. It's not until I hit my head that I noticed that I need to control my speed and how fast I decide to move.

When I thought I was in total control of the situation and my breakthrough came, I realized that I pressed on the gas way too fast. I am sitting here, realizing that I need to be careful about what I manifest in my life because it also affects you. This past year I was able to start a new job. I had a wonderful lady train me and help me through the process of understanding this significant role that I am about to take. I used to stay on the phone with her for hours, talking about work and family. She had kids and was giving me advice on things I should do differently with you. Today I looked at my phone and realized that last Friday would be the last time I would talk to her. Last Friday is the last day that I would be able to call her for advice. Today is the day I realized how short life is. Today I realized that we had plans to discuss a few things later on, but it will never happen because she took her last breath today. She had a full calendar and trips plan with her kids, and she will never get a chance to take them. After reading the email, I picked up the computer and realized my life and the life of the people around me are too short, and instead of manifesting against what is meant for me, I need to accept it and let it play out. I have wasted a lot of time trying to be perfect and letting my pride get in between what I know is meant for me.

I don't know how I will ever teach you to enjoy every second of your life and the people you love. I want you to push through and manifest greatness in your life because that is the only thing you deserve. If anything would happen to me, I want you to cherish each of my writings and understand that your mom is sorry for her mistakes. I am sorry for manifesting negativity in our life and being prideful of what you truly deserve. One thing I can say is we cannot change the past, and I understand that I will never be able to undo the things I did or manifested in my life, but I promise to try to redirect our future. I promise to stop fighting away my dreams of finishing my Masters, being a great friend, daughter, and wife someday. I promise to love you unconditionally because I don't ever want our last to be a day I regret. Today I want you to understand that I have been saying that I am done fighting while still holding on to the mace and the pocket knife, but after reading this email, I am genuinely done because we will never know when that last fight will be.

I want you always to speak positivity in your life, and it doesn't matter how bad things may look, understand that you are in control of your emotions. Always manifest greatness no matter how high the speed bump may look because I promise once you get over the speed bump, a smooth road will come to keep you on the right path. Be careful what you speak into your life or what you speak against your life because your mindset will help you through your conquest. Today I want to manifest greatness, strength, and happiness into your life. I want to go against any prideful things that I spoke in your life and put down my weapon of pride and let God do what he does best.