A Mighty Haitian Women

 Dear Vee,

    I am not going to lie, but this week I have been avoiding this post. This week your great-grandmother has left to go back to Haiti. Vee, you grew a bond with her, and it reminded me of when I was a little girl. You paid so much attention to her every move. You tried your best to talk to her. You reminded me of how I used to listen to her sing and tell me different stories about life. Vee, this past Tuesday, I went with you to drop off my grandma in Fort Myers. When you arrived, Vee, you were calm. When it was time for you to go, you started to scream. My grandma took you, and she held you, Vee. She held you and cuddled with you until you calmed down, and it brought me back to when I was a little girl. When you were crying, I wanted to come and hold both of you because I knew how you felt. Vee, we used to go to Haiti every summer, and every time it was time for me to come back to the US, I spent the night crying. Vee, I would cry for hours because I was scared that my peace was going to leave me. The woman who takes the time to talk to me and understand me will distance me.

    When she started traveling, Vee, I did not care if I did not have a dollar to my name or if I were on my last, I would always find a way to bring her to Tampa. I am honestly scared of losing her Vee. I am afraid of not being able to hug her or have a conversation that did not require comparison but understanding. Vee, that night when we got home, I held you, and I kissed you because you reminded me of your great grand-mother. You started to smile at me. I felt like you were trying to let me know that you understand I am not perfect, but I will always be perfect for you because I am the women that was blessed to give birth to you.  I promise to protect you as my grandma protected me. Vee in my family, people assume I am the favorite, but I am not when it comes to my grandma. She does not see me as a person who does not make mistakes or someone who has it all together. She sees me as Stephania, the woman who is fighting through this thing called life. She listens to me with open ears, and when the tears come, she does not judge me. She helped me wipe my tears and said, I understand, but we can solve this together. Vee, she is someone that I push to learn about, and every chance I get to be around her, I will take it. Vee, I want to consume as much as I can, and I want to keep pushing with as much strength as she has. I named you after her because I knew God knew what he was doing when creating you in my womb. Vee, when she handed you back to me that Tuesday night, she looked up to me and said I kept your promise. She stayed strong and will continue staying healthy, but Vee, she remembered the promise she made to me ten years ago. Ten years ago, something happened, and I had her promise never to leave this earth or weaken until she at least holds my first child. My grandma was able to hold you and bond with you. I thought God's timing was wrong when I had you, but I came to realize that it was the perfect timing of what I wished for. Vee, understand that your bloodline is not a joke, and from her looking at you, I knew that my daughter, whose name is Viliana named after her great grand-mother Vilia, will continue the strength of a mighty Haitian woman.

    In this post, I want you to understand the life of a Haitian woman and why they inspire me so much. Vee starting with your great-grandma, I do not believe life would have been the same without her wisdom. I grew up in a Haitian household and went to Haiti every year, so your mom's experience may not be the same for others. My experience is what made me the woman I am today. When I started Middle school, I realized that I was taking many things for granted. I went to school just because that was what was encouraged. I did not understand the impact of what an education can do for me. One summer, we took our regular family summer trip to Haiti. During this trip, my perspective of the Haitian women shifted. Vee, I wanted to learn as much as I could about the country. Many people used to talk so much junk about the country, and I thought it was the most fantastic place to be. Everything seemed interesting to me, but that was nothing new. This particular year this woman stood out to me. Vee that year, I realized how privileged I was living in the United States. I complained about waking up, having to shower, and sometimes helping my siblings get ready. I always wanted to come home and watch tv but get yelled at for not doing Homework or cleaning the house. This very summer, I got a better understanding of what a mighty Haitian woman is?

    One day in July, my grandma woke up at 5 am to go to the mache (market) to buy stuff for breakfast. My grandma came back, washed all the dishes, cleaned the outside, and made breakfast before anybody woke up. On this particular day, my grandma was going to the market to sell merchandise. I decided to go with her. The market in Haiti is a lot different than the ones in America. Hopefully, one day you will get to experience the markets in Haiti. Vee on that particular day, this lady was walking around with a big bucket on top of her head selling sugar cane.

    I told my grandma that I wanted some. My grandma called the lady over, and when she came to where we were at, I realized the lady was barefooted. I asked her where your shoes were, and with a sad face, she said she did not have any. I scratched my head and wondered how and why? I asked her if she was not wearing her shoes because she could not afford it, and she stated that as long as my kids have shoes on their feet, I have shoes on my feet. I asked my grandma if it was okay to give her the shoes we were selling, and the lady said that she prefers me to give her the shoes for her youngest son. I asked her why, and she looked at me and told me everything I have is for them, and I want to continue fighting for them. Long story short, my grandma ended up giving her and each one of her kids a pair of shoes and clothes. This woman is how I can describe a Haitian woman. 

    I used to cry about the color shoes I had, and this lady had nothing. I used to cry about the clothes I wore, and she only had the ones on her back. I used to cry about the food my parents cooked, and she only had food for whatever she made that day, but she was still happy and pushing. The whole time she told me she was blessed and is happy with her life. Vee after that year, I started educating myself, and I realized how strong a Haitian woman is. It does not matter what they have or how bad things may get. They continue pushing like everything is perfect. Vee going to school in America made me realize that I am the voice to the voiceless, I am the strength to the weak, and I am the carrier to my bloodline. Many Haitian women have fought to be here, and I refuse to give up because I am not rich, famous, or have everything I want. I am blessed to have everything I need. I want to continue fighting through this battle and help all the Haitian women who have fought through their pain to make way for me. I want them to understand that their pain was not in vain, and instead of complaining, I will smile and say that I am only creating the path and continue the legacy created for me. So if you see your mom pushing and fighting through life without any shoes, understand that I am continuing a battle that so many people fail to acknowledge, and I pray that I can teach you the path of a powerful bloodline. You are a Haitian woman and just like our people and our country giving up is never an option.