Societal Flaws
Dear Vee,
Your growth and your milestones have amazed me. You are nine months, and I feel like you are now admiring the different things around you. This week has been a week of adventure for your mom. I have been going back and forth on what to write about, but I have so many thoughts that it is hard to come up with one topic. So this week, I am going to let my fingers type and see where it takes me.
This past Saturday, I went to an outing, and we both had a great time. We laughed, ate, and enjoyed the people around us. When we got home, I sat on my bed and thought to myself how important authenticity is. We live in a world where opinions are not taking so well anymore, and I have been saying it a lot in my previous post. Many people have a hard time being true to themselves and the people around them. I pray that you do not grow up to what society believes you should be, but grow up to be the person God created you to be. This also means sticking to your belief. Many people will not appreciate your view or not agree with you for different reasons, but being comfortable with what you stand for is a big plus.
I want you to understand that the reason why I am telling you this is not because I know it all or have it all figured out but because it is so impactful in my life right now. When I decided to create this blog for you to read later on, I wanted to write my most profound thoughts and I wanted you to understand the different things I am going through. Please read each post with an open mind and know that I do not want you to have the same opinions as me or focus on the things I write but use it as a guide to get through some of the obstacles you will go through. I want you to stay focus on yourself and be sure that you are outspoken to the world that wants to silence you. I have been in rooms where people are grateful for my presence, and I have also been in rooms where people are uncomfortable with my company. I have come to a point in my life where either one bothers me.
When I was 15 years old, I used to fight for acceptance and the love from my mother that after going through a rough journey with her, I came to term that if my mother has trouble loving me for who I am, then nobody will genuinely accept me and my opinion. I fought with this idea for years and thought how imperfect I was. I was trying to push my way in a world that was imperfect itself. I had a hard time imagining the idea of not being accepted by the people around me. After years of staying in a shell and being afraid of others' opinions, I realized that I was stopping my growth. I was a caterpillar fighting to become a butterfly but fearful of being accepted by the sky I was about to fly in. I was afraid of exploring the different things that the world had for me because of what others may think of it.
Vee, your mom, is not the most brilliant cookie in the bunch. I write a blog while struggling with grammar. I do events while fearing the opinions of others. I have friends in my circle who sometimes I do not agree with their views but still, love them to death. I have family members who touch the thin lines of my patience, but I would be devastated if they were not around me. I say this to say that I am struggling. I always wanted my future husband to be a boring John Doe who goes to his basic 9 am-5 pm and comes home. I do not want him in the media's eye or have a substantial social life because it will change how I address the public. I am not your ideal model, and I used to have many insecurities that took years to get over.
When I was growing up, people used to view me as a big girl with brown eyes or a shy girl with pretty hair. I used to admire my eyes because of how people saw them. I hated my body for years and hated when people pointed it out. People would come and identify all my flaws and point them out like the mirror is not doing a great job at it. People will make fun of my flaws thinking that they were doing good, not realizing the battles that I was facing behind doors. It took me years of trying to work out and trying to starve myself to admit that I am perfect the way I am. I do not have a butt and I do not have the best style in the world. I do not like to put on makeup and let the girls tell you my closet are full of clothes that have been here for years. I have a limited amount of shoes, and my hair is always in braids, but Vee, that is what is unique about me. The clothes in my closet are what I love, and just because the world might think it is crazy or it is not up to their standard does not change who I am.
It has taken years for me to come to terms with my flaws, and now I am addressing each one and hoping that God continues to bless me with the knowledge of using my flaws to continue my legacy. When you grow up, people will start pointing some of them out to you, but I want you to understand that the opinion of others does not make you. Always know that you should not seek out others' views and push yourself to get more than you think you deserve because the same people who are judging you are the same ones fighting insecurities behind doors. They will pick out your flaws to satisfy their ego. Do not compare yourself to others' accomplishments, and always know that as long as you are satisfied with yourself and are healthy, do not ponder on the opinions that will not matter years from now. Stick to your belief and do not feel silences to a society confused about what should be acceptable.
Your growth and your milestones have amazed me. You are nine months, and I feel like you are now admiring the different things around you. This week has been a week of adventure for your mom. I have been going back and forth on what to write about, but I have so many thoughts that it is hard to come up with one topic. So this week, I am going to let my fingers type and see where it takes me.
This past Saturday, I went to an outing, and we both had a great time. We laughed, ate, and enjoyed the people around us. When we got home, I sat on my bed and thought to myself how important authenticity is. We live in a world where opinions are not taking so well anymore, and I have been saying it a lot in my previous post. Many people have a hard time being true to themselves and the people around them. I pray that you do not grow up to what society believes you should be, but grow up to be the person God created you to be. This also means sticking to your belief. Many people will not appreciate your view or not agree with you for different reasons, but being comfortable with what you stand for is a big plus.
I want you to understand that the reason why I am telling you this is not because I know it all or have it all figured out but because it is so impactful in my life right now. When I decided to create this blog for you to read later on, I wanted to write my most profound thoughts and I wanted you to understand the different things I am going through. Please read each post with an open mind and know that I do not want you to have the same opinions as me or focus on the things I write but use it as a guide to get through some of the obstacles you will go through. I want you to stay focus on yourself and be sure that you are outspoken to the world that wants to silence you. I have been in rooms where people are grateful for my presence, and I have also been in rooms where people are uncomfortable with my company. I have come to a point in my life where either one bothers me.
Vee, your mom, is not the most brilliant cookie in the bunch. I write a blog while struggling with grammar. I do events while fearing the opinions of others. I have friends in my circle who sometimes I do not agree with their views but still, love them to death. I have family members who touch the thin lines of my patience, but I would be devastated if they were not around me. I say this to say that I am struggling. I always wanted my future husband to be a boring John Doe who goes to his basic 9 am-5 pm and comes home. I do not want him in the media's eye or have a substantial social life because it will change how I address the public. I am not your ideal model, and I used to have many insecurities that took years to get over.
It has taken years for me to come to terms with my flaws, and now I am addressing each one and hoping that God continues to bless me with the knowledge of using my flaws to continue my legacy. When you grow up, people will start pointing some of them out to you, but I want you to understand that the opinion of others does not make you. Always know that you should not seek out others' views and push yourself to get more than you think you deserve because the same people who are judging you are the same ones fighting insecurities behind doors. They will pick out your flaws to satisfy their ego. Do not compare yourself to others' accomplishments, and always know that as long as you are satisfied with yourself and are healthy, do not ponder on the opinions that will not matter years from now. Stick to your belief and do not feel silences to a society confused about what should be acceptable.
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