Dear Vee....

 Dear Vee,  Life? Life is funny and has a way of making you forget how short it is. I wanted to type this post on Friday, but I was doing so much that I let the opportunity pass. I typed this post in my head the whole drive home on Sunday and got distracted by other things. I am currently typing this and begging God to help me remember that amazing post on Sunday. It's funny how I am at work typing and reviewing notes, and I realized that missing opportunities was what the pastor preached about on Sunday. God was moving in church, and I am grateful to have an opportunity to worship and better understand what he has in store for us.  On Friday, I woke up a little nervous about the weekend and frustrated with you because you gave me a tough time that morning. I turned around, trying to stay cool while you went to get your shoes, and I looked up at the mirror in my room. Mind you, and I look up at that mirror daily because it's in your face. This morning I looked up at it an...

 Dear Vee,  I am not even going to promise you anything. I have been slacking regarding these posts, but I have wanted to say so much to you but haven't had the time to sit down and express myself. It's almost been a year since I posted about everything happening in our life. You are about to be three, and I am excited about everything God is doing in our lives. The year started rocky for us both, but we have made it through. I don't know where to go with this post, but I am back. I am back to writing my heart out to you and expressing the things going on in my life with my writing.  Vee, when this year started, I prayed to God that he would not make me his strongest soldier. I prayed for a very peaceful year because I was tired of things hitting me one after the other. I wanted this year to be smooth with no speed bumps. I tried to navigate life with the capability of seeing everything. I wanted to go after every and anything that was for me. I wanted to have this year t...

  Dear Vee,  This week has been a good week for me, and many exciting things have been happening around me. I am unsure if I posted it in the last post, but baby girl, you are finally sitting, and things are moving fast. This week I sat and stared at you and realized that even though I am trying to adjust to my new life, being a mom, time does not stop with me. I am so used to planning things out and analyzing different things in my life that I forget the time that I sit planning is time that I am wasting seeing you grow and blossom into the little girl you are growing to be. Your personality is starting to show, and your smile is getting brighter. Soon you are going to crawl and walk. I don't think I am ready for that, but it's not my choice. Just because I want time to stop does not mean it will stop. We will have to adjust to what we have going on. This week Vee, I have been struggling with the concept of wanting something and waiting for something to happen but not realizi...

 Dear Vee,  I hope you are proud of me. It's my second week of posting, and I am feeling it. I am pushing to continue writing to you as often as possible; bear with me. Things have been moving in slow motion these past three weeks. I am in the process of planning your second birthday. I still can't believe that I have been a mother for two years now. When I look at your growth and all the milestones you have achieved, I am amazed. Yet, there are days that I wake up asking God, why me? Why was I chosen to live the life I live? Why was I the one chosen to give birth to such an amazing little girl? Did I deserve the blessing that he continues to storm down on me? Do I acknowledge everything that he continues to do for us? We have fought many silent battles throughout the years, and the battles will continue to come, but now I can see each challenge as a way to grow and move to a different chapter in life. In the process of growing, I had to realize something, and after a few year...

Dear Vee,  Life has a very crazy way of showing you the truth and understanding the perspective of everyone around you. I grew up fighting to see the good in every individual. I grew up trying to show everyone that there is so much to this life that we could only imagine and touch. It's been a while since I built up the strength to continue to write to you. I made a promise to myself that I had broken so many times. I have so much to write to you, but lately, I feel the overwhelming shame that keeps taking over my soul. Every time I start to gain the courage to discover a rhythm to this thing called life, I get a surprise that makes me feel like I am not doing this right. I had always stated that in the process of writing this, I would be as transparent as possible with you. I want you to understand that I don't think I am there yet. I am not at the point where I can push my fears aside, look you in your eyes, and tell you the truth. Lately, there has been this overwhelming sha...

 Dear Vee,  It's been a while since I have posted on here. It's been a crazy year for me and you. We have accomplished so much, but we stumbled a lot through the process. I want to start by saying it is a new year. We have finally entered the year 2022. I honestly do not have any plans for this year. Last year I was so hopeful and determined to do so much, but in reality, everything I was determined to do was interrupted by fear and regret. The year 2021 was a good and a bad year for me. I can tell you right now that you had a great year. You turned one, and we had a great birthday for you. Viliana, you have a lot of people who love you and cant wait to see you grow into a beautiful woman. You surprise me every day, and I am amazed by your growth. As the new year comes in, I want to suggest something. Every year in January, I sit and make all these goals and create a timeline of completing them. Every year that goes by, I cannot accomplish them. I get saddened by the situation...